feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize