don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
