OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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