need another drink. this is the easiest way
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
