ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
