butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
