I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
