found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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