She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
