sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
