Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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