I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
