This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
