I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
