I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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