She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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