You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
