I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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