how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
