please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
