i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
