butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
