We won't sleep together?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
