Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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