She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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