why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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