My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
