well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Is that strawberry winking at me??
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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