Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
