What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
barbara walters just said penis...
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
