Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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