i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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