I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
