remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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