I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
