saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
