Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
