I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
The Olympian is in my bed
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
