The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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