please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
