I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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