When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
