Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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