found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
