I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
