We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
