Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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