so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize