made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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