Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize