He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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