dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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