Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
