He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
