he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
