he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize