If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize
