yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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