He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
