butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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