Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
