kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
