i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
