I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
