Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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