So drunk its hurt
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
