Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
