I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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